Excerpts from FIRST COUSIN ONCE REMOVED
Excerpts from FIRST COUSIN ONCE REMOVED,
A novelette in which time tells the story of a woman’s travels on the road of life.
“Before I joined the Navy, I used to hop the trains sometimes with your granddaddy,” Uncle Johnny told me. “Ain’t that true, Dude?” he aimed at my granddaddy named Dude. My granddaddy nodded at Uncle Johnny, but he snuck a wink in my direction. I listened politely to the rest of the story, but I could feel my eyes getting bigger and my mouth falling wider open as he talked — even though I was sure my granddaddy intended me to know the story was not true.
“I fell asleep one time in the boxcar on the way to Mississippi to look for work,” my great uncle spoke while acting out falling asleep with his left hand spread out in front of his snoring face on the boxcar floor. “When I woke up there was the biggest boot heel in all the world on top of my finger, and that boot was on the bodacious foot of a giant man…
Being eleven years older than her brother Johnny, my grandmother usually treated him in a motherly, tolerant fashion. She did however try to curb his wild story penchant in the presence of my sisters and me. “Johnny, don’t you be filling that girl’s head with nonsense, you hear me?” she hollered from her suds filled kitchen sink into the living room.
“OK, Ruby,” Uncle Johnny hollered back, and then continued his story. He told me that when that giant man lifted his boot heel, half his finger went away with it. The giant man moved across the boxcar, all hunched over because he was so tall, and sat down on the other end and fell asleep. Uncle Johnny said he could see the squashed half of his finger smeared on the bottom of that giant’s boot. It didn’t hurt too much because of the weight of the heavy boot numbing my finger stump, and I was afraid if I said anything, he’s come back and step on me again! So I just went back to sleep. And that’s why I always sleep with both my hands under my head ever since then… You ought to do that too! I heard my granddaddy stifle a laugh while I was nodding my head in agreement.
I guess Pati inherited the embellishing gene from her dad; she can spin an enormous yarn from a minuscule thread of truth. When we were teenagers together in a small town in Tennessee, I believed every word she said. Not until much later did I realize she had no need to embellish because her life was more interesting than any fiction a storyteller could weave.
…
(February 27, 1997) All these scattered thoughts may sound like madness if someone reads it, but in a way it is; my madness. This illness, SLE with APL, has made me almost insane. So many unanswered questions, always wondering. The docs with their evasive answers. They have no idea that they’re speaking to ‘Mrs. Evasive Herself.’ Little did I know what being evasive would do for me later on in life. Only time will tell, I guess. Once again, time will tell the story, it tells all stories….
“Living on the edge and being able to stay on the rail and not falling off — such a jagged edge.”
(March 12, 1997) “He did most of the talking. I mostly listened. The fear of the unknown, whatever will be will be! At least Chris is aware that the lupus may start to attack again when the chemo is finished. (There is no may to it, will is the word. Unless a miracle happens.)
“Speaking of the attacks, they are very fierce and sneaky. Adrenal crisis, pneumonia, renal, blood clots, pulmonary emboli, congestive heart failure. The beginning almost 3 years ago. My what a long (but short) three years. This is scary!”
(April 9, 1997) “He handled it very well in front of Taylor but he’s not handling it very well. Yesterday I stopped writing because he got up and then the emotions flew around the living room. It was so heavy that we were both almost hysterical. He can feel his body dying. He admitted that he’s not beating this disease. It was the first time that he has said, ‘It’s killing me and I’m pissed off.’”
(April 14, 1997) “He asked me why I didn’t tell him he was dying. I explained that I wasn’t that tough, besides that’s not something easy to bring into conversation. What do you say? – ‘How are you feeling? Did you know this disease was going to kill you?’”
(March 27, 1997) “I think now that my life is boring, but it still seems action packed. (Maybe it is all in my mind.) I have the tickets for the plane trip to Colorado. How excited I am! Chris has been feeling pretty good…. Easter dinner is in the fridge and the cake mix is in the cabinet. Chocolate muffins for the kids because they don’t like strawberry. Chris was going to have chocolate for them, but it’s his birthday and Barbie’s strawberry cake is his favorite. Many years of strawberry cakes have come and gone. I’m the white haired lady at Kroger’s too. I had to laugh, if they only knew!”
(April 18, 1997) “I’m going through clothes getting ready to pick up my boarding pass and getting ready to go. Four more days! I pray everything goes smoothly as smooth as possible. My mind needs some soothing. I know I might be selfish to want that, but I need my friends and family to help me through all this.”
(May 11, 1997 – Mother’s Day) “Talk about the fickle finger of fate, I woke up April 30th in ICU as a patient with a ruptured brain aneurism!! I had had 2 units of blood, been on a respirator because I went into respiratory distress, …pulmonary edema and was in a drug induced coma to try to control the ‘mad woman’ on a respirator. I have had one brain surgery and one more to go. I have a matching aneurism on the other side that needs to be clipped so it doesn’t kill me. Thank God I hadn’t gotten on the plane yet.
“Thank God for Chris. He stepped right in and took over or the outcome of that story wouldn’t have been so good. I can walk and talk and read and write. My memory isn’t very good, but things could have been so much worse. Dad went to Aunt Ruby in a
dream and told her he was worried about me. Maybe he’s one of my guardian angels. I sure have worked my guardian angels overtime.”
(May 25, 1997) “Things have been rocky here…. I turned in my papers to SSI 5-21 and have an appt with the caseworker from hell on the 27th re: medicaid and food stamps.”
(May 31, 1997) “The aneurysms are congenital, so is my sister I guess. I have been truly blessed. The ladies at my job went shopping for us. The cabinets, fridge and freezer are full. Thank you Jesus. Thank you ladies and gents. Mere words can’t express the gratitude I feel in my heart and mind. Peg sent a check today. June’s house payment will be paid with it… Peg sent the sweetest card with the check….
“Behind the walls, no one but ourselves ever knows what goes on behind our walls. The men, drugs, sex, rock and roll, music laughter, sunshine, tears, heartaches, love, disappointments, success, sweetness, anger…. So strange. I came here on a mission – re: Chris’s life… and he ends up saving mine. We never know what the fates and destinies have in store for us. I will try not to forget that.”
A full electronic version of this 74 page book is available for $20.00, half of which will be donated to the LUPUS FOUNDATION in hopes for a cure. Please contact Barbara Herrick at BarbaraJHerrick@AOL.com to order a copy.